All 26 songs from the Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) movie soundtrack, with scene descriptions. Listen to and download the music, ost, score, list of songs and trailers.
EXT. LONDON. VIEWS. DAY.
It is snowing. Hushed New Year's morning. Views of Londonafter the night before. Party stragglers. The fountain in TrafalgarSquare has frozen. Lone pigeonscowerunderfalling snow.
EXT. BRIDGET'S STREET. BRIDGET.
EXT. BRIDGET'S FLAT. SKYLIGHT WINDOW. DAY.
Framed through the skylight window, a very messy bed - no humanbeing decipherable.
INT. BRIDGET JONES'S FLAT. BEDROOM. DAY.
Strange soundsemerge from the bed - then slowlymovement - and at last - the worse for wear - mascara eyes - crazy hair - still in clothes from the nightbefore - BridgetJones emerges.
BRIDGET:
F*ck a duck.
As she crawls out of bed.
BRIDGET V.O.:
New Year's Day. Another year gone. O God. Everyone else has mutated into Smug Marrieds, havingchildren - Plop! Plop! Plop! - left, right and centre. And I'm stillgoing to bad parties.
INT. NEWYEAR PARTY. NIGHT.
Cut to Bridget at a partydrinking a dangerouslylarge shot.
Cut to Bridgetbeingchatted up by a questionable man at the party - whilescooping from an enormous bowl of Guacamole... over his shoulderSharonshowsdismay and Jude thinks he's gay.
Cut to Bridget, stilltalking to the handsome man, takes a mighty drag from a joint - and fallingstraightbehind a couch. The man takesadvantage of the moment to slip away.
Cut to Bridgetemerging from behind the couch, by Sharon and Tom and Jude - making a 'don't worry - I'm fine' sign - then taking the joint back againcasually - having a puff - and there she goes again, down behind the couch.
INT. BRIDGET'S FLAT. LIVING ROOM. DAY.
Cut to her sitting, present time, on a chair, in a short nightgown. She picks up a diary, unwrapsplastic wrapping.
BRIDGET O.S.:
Have made big decision. This year will take totalcontrol of my life and becomeperfectmodern woman. ResolutionNumber One - in order to mark triumphant year in whicheverythingstopsbeing shit and turns out v.g. - will keep a diary.
Kick straight into Sinatra's upbeatversion of the Rodgers & Hart classic 'Have You Met Miss Jones?' for the credits.
Bridget cross-legged, writing in new diary.
BRIDGET O.S. (CONT'D) : January 1st. 9 stone 5. Alcoholunits - 35 (ouch!) cigarettes 22 (she crossed out the '2' and make it '3' - '32') calories 5424 - shouldn't have finished that Guacamole.
BRIDGET V.O.:
Not time in shortcreditsequence to demonstrate all resolutions - but major ones include... [During this sequence she is seen enacting most of these] will stop smoking, stop drinking... (She stubs out an only just lit cigarette - throws away a glass of wine and then sort of catch-scoops it just in time back into the glass, has a sip - nasty! - so throws it away again.) …a lot. Stop fantasizingaboutunrealistic men...
INT. BRIDGET'S BATHROOM. INT./EXT.
Her hand slips in and slips a GeorgeClooneycalendar off the hook it hangs on the door.
INT. BRIDGET'S BEDROOM. DAY.
BRIDGET O.S.:
...and, crucial I believe, will alwaysthrow yesterday's used pants in laundry basket... (She pounces on a rogue pair, but we see, as she turnstowards the laundry basket, that she actually has another pair of pantsstuck to the back of her thigh. The phone goes. She walkstowards it.) Will also live own life withoutbeingbullied by people into things I don't want to do.
She answers it. The musicstops dead.
BRIDGET:
Yes, don't worry, Mum, I'll be there.
She hangs up.
BRIDGET (CONT'D): Very bad start.
She instantlytakes the cigarette out of the ashtray.
INT. BRIDGET'S FLAT. HALLWAY. NIGHT.
Bridget, wrapped up for winter, comingdownstairs with a big case. She passes a pleasant 60 year Indian man old, just taking his garbage out - Mr Ramdas.
MR RAMDAS:
Happy New Year, Bridget.
BRIDGET:
Thanks Mr Ramdas - how's your wife?
MR RAMDAS:
Still dead.
BRIDGET:
Oh yes, that's right. Sorry. Still sorry. Still, Happy New Year!
MR RAMDAS:
Thank you, sweetheart.
EXT. ST. PANCRAS STATION. EUSTON ROAD. DAY.
Snow falls on the road towards St. Pancras Station. New Year's Partyrevellers are makingtheir way home. Bridgetcomes into view, bit by bit, throughflurries of snow, carrying her overnight bag.
BRIDGET V.O.:
All in all, will developinner poise, and sense of self as maturewoman of substance, completewithout boyfriend... as best way to obtain boyfriend. And not end up tragic bag lady.
Which is exactly what she looks like. She lights a cigarette - but muddles it and it drops into the snow.
BRIDGET:
F*ck.
BRIDGET V.O.:
Doesn't matter; giving up anyway, of course.
INT. ENTRANCETO ST. PANCRAS STATION. DAY.
She walks past a huge poster of a very slim, long-legged model.
BRIDGET V.O.:
Will also not be paranoidaboutbeingoverweight and will learn to love my thighs as being just the sort of thighs many men enjoylying between, especiallythosealive in 18th century.
She stops to give money to a gaunthomeless couple, and their dog. She walks on...
HOMELESS MAN:
What a lovely, caring person.
HOMELESS WOMAN:
Yes. Shameabout the thighs.
HOMELESS MAN:
Yeah, she could lose a stone or two.Thanks, Chubbs!
INT. ST. PANCRAS STATION. MAIN CONCOURSE. DAY.
Bridget walks on through.
STATION ANNOUNCER V.O.: Western Rail wishes to inform all passengers that there is actuallynothingwhatsoever the matter with BridgetJones thighs...
INT. ST. PANCRAS STATION. PLATFORM. DAY.
STATION ANNOUNCER V.O.: Passengers are reminded once again that you do not need to look like a stickinsect to be attractive. MarilynMonroe is a good example - and Madonna in the early days - and, of course, that girl who plays the flatmate in Ally McBeal and Benton's ex-girlfriend in E.R.
INT. TRAIN COMPARTMENT. DAY.
Cut to on the train. BRIDGET is writing in her DIARY in her tight scrawl.
BRIDGET:
V. important - will not fall for any more of the following: commitment phobics, misogynists, megalomaniacs, freeloaders or perverts. (She looks at male passengersbeside her and comingtowards her. By the time she reaches 'pervert', the camerawhizzes back to 'misogynist' man.) Will also become more intelligent by readingexcellentbooks of prize-winning quality. (She takes out a copy of 'The Famished Road' by Ben Okri. Nods intelligently as she starts to read - we glimpse a picture of the author on the back as we do - and instantly her eyelidsstart to droop.) Though must be careful not to lose touch with popular culture.
She takes out 'Hello' and devours it. She speaks this line out loud...
BRIDGET (CONT'D): O Fergie, Fergie, Fergie: who told you you looked good in that?
Turns another page - then obviously her concentrationdrifts a bit...
BRIDGET (CONT'D): Also will not obsessHOPELESSLYaboutDanielCleaver as is pathetic to have crush on boss in manner of Miss Moneypenny...
The trainenters a tunnel. The windowsblack out.
INT. BRIDGET'S OFFICE. GENERAL OFFICE. DAY.
Ping. Out of black, the lift doors open. Slo-mo on DanielCleaverwalkingthrough office. He is about 35, stylish and indeed gorgeous.
BRIDGET (CONT'D): ...although, pretty damn sure that he looked at me in distinctlyunprofessionalmanner at Christmas party. Thoughmight have been amazement at number of flat notes in rendering of Nilsson classic.
INT. BRIDGET'S OFFICE. GENERAL OFFICE. NIGHT.
Cut to Bridgetscreaming into a microphone at Christmas party. Otherofficecharacters are there: Perpetua, Daniel's timid secretary, plumpSimon from Marketing, Leslie from Design, Dave from Sales.
BRIDGET:
'Can't liiiiiiiiiiiive if living is without you - can't liiiiiive...'
Cut to slow-mo Daniel Cleaver, in deep conversation with Managing Director, Mr Fitzherbert, stopping, lookinground in an enigmatic manner.
BRIDGET (CONT'D): Can't deny it, though - he's absolutelyflipping gorgeous...
Someone crosses him, creatingmomentaryblacknesswhichturns back into the black of the train now suddenlyemerging from the tunnel...
INT. TRAIN COMPARTMENT. DAY.
Bridget stop writing and looks up.
BRIDGET (CONT'D): ...would say 'fucking gorgeous' - but certainMother will at some point read diary and therefore the less four letterwords the better - not to mentions of blow-jobs and nobs up back bottom etc.
INT./EXT. BRIDGET'S PARENTS' HOUSE. FRONT DOOR. DAY.
Detached 50's house on the edge of pretty, thatched village. Bridget's taxi pulls up. She slumpsagainst the front door as the bell rings the tune of a town hall clock. Her mum opens it.
MOTHER:
Oh! There you are, Tigger. For Heavens Sake, where are you been?
While it would be unimaginable to ever forget a line such as, 'I like you very much — just as you are' from Bridget Jones' Diary, it is possible that even mega fans may not remember every quotation from Bridget Jones' Diary. I know that sounds blasphemous for some Bridget Jones fans who, like myself, pride themselves on knowing the movie by heart. The first film in the Bridget Jones series turns 15 years old on April 13, 2016 and over the past 15 years, I have had ample time to watch the movie over and over again — and trust me, I have. Yet, 15 years also regrettably means that I have had ample time to overlook or forget some of the most hilarious lines from Bridget Jones' Diary.
With a column, three books, two movies, and another movie — Bridget Jones' Baby — on the way, Helen Fielding's blundering Bridget has won the hearts of many women who can relate to her antics for over two decades. And Renée Zellweger's Bridget is just as lovable and quotable as she was when she first hit movie theaters 15 years ago. Even if I found more issues with Zellweger's British accent now than I did back in 2001, her talking about her bottom being 'the size of Brazil' and — on the flip side — her 'genuinely tiny knickers' still makes you love Bridget as much as you did in 2001.
Of course, Bridget isn't the only funny and memorable character, so put in your Bridget Jones DVD or stream it on Netflix in honor of the 15th anniversary. And during your rewatch, look out for these 18 hysterical, but perhaps forgotten, lines from Bridget Jones' Diary. My apologies in advance for classic lines that are missing from this list, but you and I both know you couldn't have possibly forgotten them since some of them are the top 30 movie quotes of our time.
1. 'Oh, don't be silly, Bridget. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz.'
Perhaps the most underappreciated character (from a comedic standpoint) is Bridget's mother Pam Jones, who has a knack for offending people as she displayed immediately in the film with this truly distasteful Holocaust insult.
2. 'Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head.'
Ahhh, Perpetua. Haven't we all wanted to staple things to a coworker's head in a confined workplace just like Bridget?
3. 'Then I think a well-timed blow job's probably the best answer.'
When Bridget asks how to handle a work faux paus with her boss Daniel, her friend Tom gives her the most logical advice.
4. 'Shut up, please. I am very busy and important.'
Bridget's response to flirtatious e-mail exchanges with Daniel is a perfect way to silence anyone in the workplace or in life in general.
5. 'To be honest, darling, having children isn't all it's cracked up to be. Given my chance again, I'm not sure I'd have any.'
Clearly, Bridget's habit of putting her foot in her mouth was a learned behavior from her ever-loving mother.
6. 'Have you got a boyfriend? A real one?'
Jim Broadbent's incredulous expression as he asks Bridget about her boyfriend gets me every time.
7. 'She was very frightened. She's only just had her ovaries done.'
Poor Colin Jones decided to follow his daughter's advice of flirting during the (canceled) tarts and vicars party by trying his moves on Penny Husbands-Bosworth, only to get criticized by his estranged wife.
8. 'I mean, I know it's been awkward as ass, but there's no need to leave.'
After Bridget discovers Daniel sleeping with Lara, he unsuccessfully uses this line to convince Bridget not to quit her job as his assistant. 'Awkward as ass,' indeed.
9. 'Nothing can distract me from my dedication to the pursuit of truth. Well — almost nothing. Right. I'll just pop to the shop quickly for some ciggies.'
Just because Bridget got a job as a TV personality doesn't mean she isn't the same old Bridget.
10. 'Where the f*ck is the f*cking tuna?'
Perhaps my favorite line of the entire movie. Perfect for stressed out cooking situations or when you have nothing in the fridge.
11. 'Christ, is that blue soup?
Daniel says this while trying to win Bridget over (again), but understandably he got a bit distracted by her birthday dinner feast.
12. 'Well quick! It's a real fight!'
Tom is full of sheer joy at the sight of Daniel and Mark battling in the street and doesn't understand why not everyone in the restaurant doesn't feel the same level of excitement.
13. 'December 25, weight 140 pounds plus 42 mince pies. Alcohol units, oh, thousands. BUGGER OFF!'
I'm going to say that the thousands of alcohol units may have had something to do with Bridget shouting at the Christmas carolers.
14. 'The thing is ... well, close up, he was almost purple.'
Pam finally realized the error of her ways with dating the 'tangerine-tinted' Julian.
15. 'Well, better dash. I’ve got another party to go to. It’s single people … mainly poofs. Bye!'
Bridget always knows how to make an eloquent exit.
16. 'I can't believe you said what you said you said.'
Jude saying this to Bridget is on par with the Friends line, 'They don't know that we know they know we know.'
17. 'Passport, Bridget. And pants.'
One of the rare lines that Shazza says that does not contain the word 'f*ck.' I wish I had her around when I was packing for international travel.
18. 'I just wanted to know if you were available for bar mitzvahs and christenings, as well as ruby weddings. Excellent speech.”
Did you think I forgot about Mark Darcy?!? Of course not! Although his character isn't known for his witty repartee all the time, he mocked Bridget before giving her one of the all-time best kisses in movie history.
Now rewatch Bridget Jones' Diary in all its glory for its 15-year anniversary and never forget these quotes again.
Images: Miramax (19)
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